


We're okay.

by orphan_account



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Past Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-07
Updated: 2017-05-07
Packaged: 2018-10-29 02:04:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10844217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Pj was wrong about Dan and Phil, but he found out why.





	1. Prologue: guess work

**Author's Note:**

> You don't have to read this if you don't want to.

Pj  
It's surprising, really, how drastic the change is.  
When you first meet them, they are obviously together, so you don't notice it. It's only after the 3rd time you meet, you just expected Dan to be with Phil. That's just who they are, the duo; Dan and Phil, Phil and Dan. If we are honest it is only ever by a fluke you get one without the other.  
It is also funny how wrong my expectation were. You would think, as natively as I did, that Phil would be the one that is effected the most be the absence of a certain wet noodle. Well, it is only  expected, he is the one that talks the least. Phil just carried on, talked just as much as normal, chipping in anecdotes here and there. His confedent and lively persona as bright and viberent as ever.   
So to my great surprise Dan was the polar opposite. The most chatty, extroverted one out of the two of them. Always going off o n long ranting tangents, some how always managing to mak pretty much anything inappropriate. But, take Phil out of the equation and you get a whole different person.   
Dan, is a tall person who's high towers over practically everybody, making it hard to blend in and hide. Yet, some how Dan manages to do just that and hide. He slumps over and folds into himself like a tortoise in a shell , getting as small as possible. He seems to also have an eye contact problem, literally doing anything to not look to your eyes. It is actually quite scary how child like he acts. Avoiding any and all human interaction. Only speaking when directly spoken too and even then it is only the shortest possibly answer you get in return, sounding like a squeak as he never speaks louder than above  a whisper. The other thing I've noticed he does when he is anxious is cover his hands with his jumper and bit and nibble at the sleeves. After the first time i met him alone he had literally shredded this black sleeves to tatters.   
Sure,on the 2nd and 3rd time you talk to him without Phil he starts to interact more; speaking louder and tell the occasional joke. And finally after a lot of time he is almost as comfortable with you as with Phil, almost mind you. But trust me, you never foreget the dull scared look in his brown chocolate eyes. It is truly unnerving.   
So, naturally, after experiencing this first time I was careful to watch and take note of every thing.   
It was only little thing I noticed, things I easily missed on the other Dan and Phil encounters I had had before. Like the way Dan would glance a Phil as he started to speak and Phil would respond with a small nod or smile. Dan would then proceed to talk with just that little bit more confidence. Or  how Phil was able to detect the slightest bit off Dan's discomfort and more a little closer and divert the conversation. The self deprecating jokes Dan would tell receive a tiny shake of the head and sad smile from Phil.   
It really make you think about just how much Phil does and has done for Dan, the perfect best friend.   
But, why? It is a question that I didn't get until much later, and even then it was hard to explain. 


	2. The Unexpected Explaination.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy the proper story (even if it is rubbish).   
> Again, if you are feeling suicidal or are being abuse in any way, please get help, talk to someone.   
> Happy reading lovely nuts x

It was about 1 and half years after I met Dan and Phil that I really got any clue.  
We were all at mine, drinking playing board games and just chatting really. It was around two, every one was scattered around the room just chilling, a game of monopoly forgotten on the floor. "Daaaaaaaan" Tyler whined from the far sofa "Get me a beer."  
"No, get it yourself you lazy twat." Dan said from the floor where, suprise suprise, he was with Phil. They were leaning on each other as Phil began to go to nod off.   
"Buuuuuuuuuuut daaaaaaaaaan I am jet lagged."  
"Why me? Pj is the host, this is his bloody house after all."  
"Don't bring me into this sweet cheeks. This is your problem."  
"Daaaaaaaan"  
With a rather unnecessary loud sigh, Dan got up muttering curses under his breathe. His movements jerking Phil awake in the process. "Any more for any more?" few hands were raised and  other drinks requested. "Bunch of lazy buggers." He said, while giving Phil a peck on the lips,"Yeah, but they 're our only friends." Phil responded.   
The low hum of the room continued as Dan left.   
Dan opened the fridge, the cold air sobering him up a bit. He grabbed 2 beers for Alfie and Tyler as well as a diet coke for Louise. He adjusted his grip on the freezing bottles, as he did the two bottles slipped out of his hand. His eyes widened a the glass hit the slate tiles and smashed. Shards of glass were shattered and beer was flowing every where. Dan was faintly aware of music and someone calling his name, but all he could focus on was the dark sticky liquid bubbling out of the glass. The sounds were too loud, the constant thumbing heavy in his ears, stop stop stop stop too loud stop stop. His hands were shaking as he bend down to tidy up, quickly qui-qui-quickly faster faster quicker fas-  
"you better bloody clean that up you useless piece of shit, worthless and useless."   
Quicker, quicker, quicker, faster qui-  
His hand we trembling as he fell to the floor frantically pick up the glass. His jeans were soaked through by the beer.  
"not even gonna apologies, where are your manners" kick, kick, punch "go on say it, say your sorry for being pathetic and a slut that can't do anything."   
"S-s-sorry."   
"sorry what." kick kick, punch, slap, punch, kick ,slap.   
"s-s-sorry sir."   
Punch, kick , slap. Snot and tears were running from the end of his nose and his eyes were blood shot. Blood was now mixing with the sticky beer, oozing from his hands.  
Slap, punch, jab jab jab jab punch kick kick kick kick-   
Arms. Warmth rapped around his body. "shhh, you're okay Dan, just breathe with me okay ... That's it. He's not here, they're not here, just you and me- remember. We're safe, they can't hurt you" a soothing voice lolled Dan frantic movements. Safe arms, safe words, safe voice; that could only mean one thing. Phil.   
Sobs raked his body as he when limp, clinging to Phil's shirt like a life line, dragging him out of hell. They saved like that; with Dan tangled in Phil, Phil hold Dan so tightly you could tell them apart, until Dan breathing slowed and his cries lessoned. He was sleeping.   
Tyler and Pj had gone to see what was wrong after they heard a crash and Phil darted out of the room as quick as lightning. They just stood in the doorway stunned, not knowing what to do or how to act. Both horrified by what the saw.  
When Phil detached him self from Dan and realised they were there he looked surprised. "Peej can you get some pajamas or something for Dan? I don't think he can stay in these clothes. Oh, and a first aid kit?" Phil's voice was soft and calm to try and keep Dan asleep leaning on his chest.   
"S-sure um. There are some cloths under the sink and stuff to tidy the kitchen and stuff. Tyler?" Reality had kicked in. Pj scurried out the room. Tyler was still in a daze but managed to grab the cleaning thing and carefully pick up the glass.  
"Will he be alright?" It was a tentative question, but his tone of voice demanded a answer .   
"He will be, he always is."   
That was enough.   
Once they go the kitchen mopped up and Dan's cuts cleaned and bandaged, they set him on the sofa to sleep, safely snuggled in Pj's space pyjamas and a blanket. He looked so young.  Phil sat at his feet making sure he was okay. While everyone sat in shock.  
It was Pj that broke the silence, "What happen out there Phil?"  
Phil sighed, looking in that moment a lot older than he was. "It really isn't my story to tell. But umm I will say that Dan had a ... troubling past and that we didn't met in quite they way you may think." It left more questions unanswered than before, but it was clear that was all he was going to say. 

 

It wasn't until an hour later that Dan woke up. He turned over and scrunched his face slimily to a cat, making a small 'hunnmnftmn' noise. Phil leaded down and kissed his noise and whispered something in his ear. His eyes instantly widened and looked around the room, scanning everyone's faces. He sat up and a small "Sorry everyone."  
"No." Phil scolded immediate, it almost sounded harsh; "Dan we have been over this; there is nothing to be sorry for. It is not your fault, Okay?"  
He nodded meekly. "I suppose that you all want to know what's going on."   
Alfie cut in before he could say anything; "Only if you want to, buddy."   
"yeah," He looked across at Phil, for support. They shared a look and seemed to have there own telepathic conversation. "Right, okay then. I apologies in advance." This received a shake of the head from Phil. "I um, didn't grow up as happy as I would have liked. I was unplanned and my um parents didn't want me  and they made sure I knew. I had always really struggled in school, I have serve dyslexia that wasn't recognised until I was 15 and by then I was already failing most of my class- unable to write what my brain was think.  And because I was so stupid I was  bullying , a lot. My parents didn't care they liked to pretend I didn't exist, I was only when my brother came along that, they really took notice of me and that was only to compare us. Aid's extremely clever and well, I am not, at least not on paper. That was when the hitting started, it really wasn't that bad, a couple slaps for not getting higher on my tests, nothing much, nothing really bad. The comments hurt the most." he drew in a shaky breathe and Phil grabbed his tremoring hand to hold. "That's when the cutting started and school stopped. I just couldn't keep up. I was drowning and I had no one to save me.  And then I met Ethan." The tears were flowing free now. "I was crying on a park bench and he gave me his hot chocolate . He was 2 years older than me, and I honestly thought I loved him." His face contorted into a painful twisted smile. "He was worse than my parents. Much much worse. Every thing was up shit creek and I couldn't do anything. Then I found YouTube and My Amazingphil."   
He smiled, a real smile and Phil returned it. "He truly brightened my day, every day, my whole life and I didn't even know him yet. I had a plan know, the day before my eighteenth birthday I escaped my family and Ethan to Manchester. I had my favourite drink in my favourite park and sent a email to Phil thanking him for keeping my alive this long and climbed the tallest building I could find. I was just about to jump when I heard my name called. It was Phil. He truly  saved my life. We ate chips on the top of the building a talked. That was the best day of my life. I moved in with him that day and then started therapy sessions where the diagnosed me with many different complicated thing like anxiety disorder. Live go so much better from then on. " Phil hugged him and they just stayed like that as the tears fell.   
It was Phil who spoke next, " I was just so scared. I didn't know what to do when you messaged me. " He pulled away  to talk to the rest of the group; "It was a flash back, that happened n the kitchen. It happens sometimes, but we are always okay. Aren't we?" and smiled, the warmest and realist smile.   
 And that is how we found out what happened to Dan and why he acts the way he does. We didn't know how anyone could let that happen to him, but we all knew one think was for certain: None of us would every let it happen again.  
Because Dan had finally found people that care about him.    
That wasn't okay any more; that was brilliant!


End file.
